I am so regular, I could be an alarm clock
Bizarre Journali review of METAMUCIL

It used to be that I would be very constipated all the time. I would think to myself, "Right now would be a good time to use the toilet." I would sit at the toilet, my leather pants pooled around my ankles and the latest Sky Mall catalog in my hands. But to no avail. No matter how hard I strained, the kids just wouldn't drop into the pool.

Then my mom recommended Metamucil Smooth Texture Orange, in the 48.2 ounce container. Because my mom has some experience with constipation, I took her advice. Fortunately, the texture really is quite smooth. Call me weird, but I do not enjoy chunky drinks.

The drink does not taste like orange juice at all. It reminds me of something you might taste at the dentist--vaguely fruity but also medical. I like to drink three glasses of Metamucil every day, one at each major meal.

As a result of my new Metamucil regimen, I have approximately four bowel movements per day. Each bowel movement is exquisitely consistent and does not tear at my rectum upon exit. I find them to be light colored and non-offensive in odor. The only problem with my Metamucil nuggets, as I like to call them, is that they sometimes leave a residue on my skin which takes some time to scrub off. I sometimes need to shower after having a Metamucil moment.

I highly recommend this product to anyone who is tired of straining on the bowl.